1st Post in the US

Hey Guys (and Girls, to satify any feminst requirements)!

This is my first post in the US, and a very small step in the long journey of education overseas. I'm in Dickinson College and it's a great school. Lots of tradition and strong academics. I haven't officially attended my first class yet though.

Well, how do I start? Beats me. So many things have happened to me and I'll try my best to reflect my thoughts here.

So let me rip some photos from my brother's facebook:

It was an emotional day for me when I was flying off. NS was only 2 years and I could come back on weekends. This is a totally different game. I am the minority in a whole new environment without having my family near to me. I didn't exactly ask friends to come down and they did. Thanks to those who came, really appreciate the effort you have made.


Quite a few of the youth from the church came down to see me off too. And I can testify here that they are faithful workers of Christ. I maybe away from church for quite a long time, that doesn't mean I am not connected to them! I'll continue to pray for NLYM (my Church youth ministry).

Also, NLYM prepared a farewell book. Gotta ask Tim who contributed to it, as it does look like a lot of effort was poured into it! I am thankful for the gift, and I'll certainly keep it :) Well, NLYM played a huge role in my spiritual growth and I do not regret serving there (I didn't want to initially). One thing's for sure: NLYM has a bright future provided the members work together. Remember, love each other and others will see you are disciples of Christ.


Blooded Ones from Barker Days came down to see me off too (sniff). They are perhaps the closest buds in my life, and I have to admit I did get a bit stranded from them. Got my balance a little wrong (with concurrent stuff going on) and I couldn't spend much time with them before I left. No worries, I cherish the good times and relations we had. We all are going seperate ways and know what, we shall keep in contact! Not an obligation or 'duty', but as close friends. That's my promise.

How to make a 21 year old guy cry? One way is to give him some free time (to have memorable experiences), a good home to be comfy in, build close relationships with others (Church, friends etc.), caring and supportive parents, and forget he is going to be away for a long long time.

Trust me, I cried quite a bit in the holding area before going on the plane. Couldn't hold back the spontaneous tears, and as a guy...felt the natural need to hide the tears. Abnormal psychology you can call it (if you are a girl). Couldn't help but just cry, maybe it is the 'new' feeling of severing the warm links built for years.

The Flight (SQ 22)

I took the direct to US flight, so that meant 19 hours of flying and reliving the long flight experience (I did it a couple of times before this). It flew Northwards all the way, even above the North Pole, and right down to Newark NJ. I tried peeking out for a view at the North Pole. I just saw clouds. Bummer.

If you are going to take the direct to USA flight, do keep this in mind: When you go over Ulan Bator, make sure you look out of the window! When I was there, there were no clouds and I could see the pristine fields of Mongolia. It was like those geographical maps made real, fields of green, crumpled ridges of mountain/hills, rivers of solid blue and dotted towns that lined the waterways. I respect map-drawers of the past, daring to chart maps without seeing it from above. Furthermore, it's a glimpse of how great God is. He created the world we know of now, and let's it continue to live on...

Caught 5 movies in the flight. Fracture (need to know some US lawyer lingo to fully appreciate this one), Hot Fuzz (good concept, really over-the-top and bland ending), and the Shrek Trilogy (back to back!).

Thing about Shrek, I don't follow the common conception that the first is the best and the third sucked yada yada yada. The 3 episodes each dealt with different aspects of a new sub-genre of fairy tales that challenges the 'disney norm', and can't say if one is better than the other.

There's one character that made my mind think quite a bit.

Prince Charming

You know Prince Charming? He's a good example of human psychology. He is blessed with good looks, has a mom who takes good care of him (manipulates for his advantage), supposed to marry a beautiful Princess Fiona, and become king. He had a lot of things going for him and he naturally expects success and popular support.

I call this the 'Prince Charming Syndrome'. When we perceive that we have a slew of blessings (grades, looks, popularity etc.), we feel wholly superior than others. That could lead us to firmly believe that are deserve the recognition of others. Convinced that we are the head above the rest, special treatment is expected. I am worth a lot to others, and they should have it my way.

This is dangerous as it leads to a trap we will find it very hard to get out of. We have no control of events outside of our lives. Things will go wrong, regardless of how blessed I am. Other people can get on with their lives without you. Once smacked with failure and rejection, we can dwell in self-pity and hunger to reclaim our 'destiny', or face a very hard truth. Self-worth is not based on how others treat us or any success in our lives.

It is not for me to dictate what self-worth is, as everyone will have a different view of this. What I can say is that the Bible is a good source to find that out. It's gotta do with your concept of God and the things He gave you in your life...whether you are using them intentionally, for your own needs or for His Purpose, because there will be a time when we can't do anything about them anymore.

In a practical sense, as an overseas student I'd expect preferencial treatment from my friends/family back home. With so much well-wishes, people who miss you, or others who dearly feel your absence, I would like to expect them to care about me at the instant I come back. 'Look guys, I'm here from all the way from USA and aren't you happy to see me??? (Come and make me feel treasured)'.

Don't worry, I want to avoid that.

Well, that's a load of stuff to type here...and I don't want to bore anyone to death :) I'll leave it here and I will post new updates on my life all the way in America. Currently, I am going through orientation and getting to know the school better, integrating myself into the community and one thing's for sure: I will be busy.

Hope to see you again at this spot of the internet!

Have fun and God bless,
Joshua

The Word 'but'

Hello

How have you been doing? Not everyone has an easy life and I appreciate you coming down to this blog. Not that I would like to invite self-pity, it is a show of appreciation of those who actually come here to read this blog. That's all.

After gone through a few meetings...I'd like to share something that could prove useful in life.

The Word 'But'

Everybody we meet wants to be heard. Guess that's the point why we want to talk to others. What if we disagree with what he/she said? Is there a way to disagree in an unoffending manner?

This has been a mental puzzle for me. I tried to rehearse such discussions through my mind and I knew the natural way of disagreeing sounded wrong.

Dale Carnegie pointed out a simple fact: It's the word 'but'.

Remember this popular stereotype on TV during the '80s and '90s?

Boss: 'DO THIS'
Employee/hireling: 'But...'
Boss: 'No buts!'

From here we can see a very poignant lesson in life that few (especially in Singapore) fail to learn. The boss is actually right.

The word 'but' aggressively negates whatever is said before it. Something can't be true and agree with what is said after the 'BUT'. Short, sharp and sting-y.

So in our conversations with others...using the word 'but' is not a great sign to show that we actually listen and appreciate (process and think through...) what he/she has said earlier. Worse still, if we start off 'BUT'!

And in the end...what should we do?

Simple, replace it with 'and'. Try it.

So for a very simple example:

A: 'Ok guys, let's do X...'
B: 'Well, A, we can do X and we should consider (point of disagreement).'

This method takes the sting out, perhaps makes us really think what the other has said, and in effect demonstrates appropriate sympathy for their views.

That's my 2 cents for now, and I hope it helps. If you're more interested in this kind of human relation stuff, I strongly suggest the Dale Carnegie Course. Reading his books is barely enough :) Hehe trust me.

Well, hope to see you guys back here another time! Have fun and remember to eat your vitamins.

God Bless,
Joshua

A Little Late Entry

Hello Everybody :)

Well, this is the start of what is effectively my last week of being a ho-bo in Singapore. I'm gonna start school again real soon, and heading to the US does seem to leave me in a cacophony of feelings.

Of course, I would prefer to choose the easy option to staying in Singapore and study a course I can get in. I have (not in order of preference) great friends, an involving Church, a warm family and tantalizing food to eat at home...and it is natural to feel the severing of my attachment to them in my heart (actually it occurs in the brain).

Have to say I had a good time since I left SAF. Completed the Dale Carnegie Course (and looking to build on it), worked part time in the kindergarten, helped run a memorable Church camp, go out and eat good food, prepare my entry in college, take loads of photos and so on...and yet this brings me to an essential point we all need to consider:

Do we focus on the success or the significance of our lives? Do we immediately busy ourselves in doing a lot of things and yet miss looking into the significance of the stuff we do (like to others, or for God)?

It is dangerous to judge my life on the successes, for they have their value given by humans and do not last with me after I die. Simply said, there is more to life and that is eternal life. I place my trust in God not as a blind believer, but as someone who knows what I am headed to. I see His Hand in all the things we have (good and ill) and recognize His loving sacrifice in Jesus to scale the Bridge of Sin. His Will is what I seek for and I stand accountable to Him with what I have.

Looking back, I wouldn't have wanted to be where I am right now. Proud with 3 As (which is nothing much in Singapore), I was looking up at NUS and UK to get a MBBS...thought that I didn't need Kenyon College (which is a very good school). I didn't get in to all of them. It is all too easy to rue them all and curse my luck!

Most importantly, I had lots of missed chances and that does not diminish my joy in getting into Dickinson College (which is also a very good school). I choose not to be swayed by past negative circumstances and I see Dickinson as my next step...to a very long journey. I choose to pursue it to learn and to use this opportunity to use my life for God. I have been placed here and I would use it to my best.

Haha that's about enough babblering for now...as I need to prepare myself this week for school. Packing my bags is certainly a daunting task.

I wish you all the best and hope to see you again here in this corner of the internet!

Regards,
Joshua