23 Days Later...

Hey World

School has started for 2 weeks, and for some strange reason, I'm already swamped with stuff to do. Right now I am fortunate enough to be able to relax a little bit, let off some steam, and finally put my thoughts to words (or pixels, if you like).

Long story short, taking MCATs and 4 subjects (the normal load) is not exactly fun, nor should I allow that to be a damper to my college days. Indeed, the workload is already pretty high, and it's only the 2nd week! I must imagine the later weeks will prove to be a harder test. For the MCATs, it's tough to score very well on it as it requires exceptional knowledge and it focuses on critical thinking, the stuff that it's believed to make great doctors. It's not healthy to dwell upon self-defeatist slogans, and I am gonna try my best for it...and perhaps be encouraged (and maybe encourage) others along the way too.

When I was waiting to disembark on the plane heading back to the States, I thought up a line to describe myself...unfortunately it has a very emo ring to it and literal reading of it may actually exaggerate what's inside me. So here it goes:

"The heaviest luggage is not what you carry in your hands - it's what's in your heart" - Josh Foong (but I bet someone else must have quoted this already!)

Honestly, I had an immensely enjoyable time being back home, catching up with family, friends and church...and appreciating that I will always have a home back in Singapore. The bonds I have made at home are still going really strong, and I truly appreciate that. This also makes leaving home a little harder than usual, having to put those bonds on pause again as I make my way back to the Land of the Brave, and not knowing where my feet will be in the next couple of years.

The prospect of having a future in the States is a very big and attractive dream to me right now. I may be similar in terms of personality in both back home and in the States...and yet I find myself drawn to the States itself, the opportunities I could look into, the values the nation is built upon, the people I've met etc...I can't exactly express the nature of my "drawing" to the States into definitive words. This is nothing to say anything negative about Singapore too...it will always be home for me, a place where I can trust in having loving family and friends...just that the government puts me off (I am not directly affected by their policies, but the disingenuoscity they exude in action and speech).

I guess this is a time of waiting, preparing and praying...to put my desires before God, and seek His direction in my life. Realistically, I would continue to study in the States provided I can get into a medical school here (which is a task of a very tall order!) or even if I meet someone special over there...(I know, oooOOOooo, but hey that's what I really believe that is important too).

For now, I would continue soldiering on with my college career, continue to grow closer to God in our relationship...and maybe blog more often?

Take care,

Joshua