30th January 2006

Hi All :)

Yesterday (other than being the 1st day of the Lunar New Year) was my 20th Birthday!!! It may seem that it would have been a blast for me, but it was rather quiet. Hmmm maybe people are more interested in hongbaos lol.

Well, that doesn't matter anyway, as my friends and pals remembered it. And if you'd like to wish me (not that I am all that important), you have my utmost gratitude.

For a fact, I haven't applied to any university yet. People seem to be more interested in my life than even myself! For one, my mom would push me constantly...raising this subject at the dinner table, cutting out newspaper cuttings for some seminars and buying reference books for admissions. Thank God for my mom. :P

My grades aren't too bad and my noggin is still quietly functioning within the confines of my head. However, I keep hearing of family members or children of friends of my aunt who study in high up places. Man these high-flyers seem untouchable and I don't feel at ease hearing about them. You can put it down to jealousy (maybe), but frankly it is not really my place there. I have never been one and it is not my job to throw all my aspirations to be one just for the sake of it.

This really makes me think: Who I am? God gives gifts to those He chooses, and what is my gift? What's so special about me?

Now that puts me in a very philosophical mood. For me it is characterised by moodiness (melancholy even) and a wandering mind. I ask myself questions (like those above) out loud sometimes, and people actually think there might be something wrong with me lol. Just think of one of those raving scientists that keep on asking questions to themselves. I feel like that.

Kind of think of it, the word 'question' had a 'fantasy-ish' feel to it to me. The word 'quest' stands out of it prominently, and I would dream myself as an audacious adventurer endeavoring out to solve the problem, going through thick and thin and risking it all. Ideally in the end, I would conclude it with a resounding note of satisfaction and ready for the next one.

In short, just juxtapose 'What did the author in line 2 mean?' with hobbits in LOTR. Get the picture?

I don't really know where I am headed to (not that I need to know it anyway), and the suspence does kill me. Well, this next step in my life is a crucial one as it decides where I would be in the future. Just like the PSLE or the 'O's, it will be followed by yet another trial.

Onward I shall march, and onward I shall answer my own questions.

Heck, maybe I bored you now have I? I know my typing is not typical of what you would find on a blog of a 20 year old. Young and old at heart haha.

See you around soon and Gong Xi Fai Chai!

Joshua

No more PATS

Hello everybody :)

I have just gone through quite a rough period and now I have the time to relax awhile...before we get all cylinders going for the next audit. So now I can spend time now without worrying about documents for some time haha....and 3SG (NS) Hong, thanks for your support.

I have to tell you this: These tough times were a blessing, and opened my eyes greatly. Yeah, greatly.

The batch before mine left big shoes to step in. They performed so well that maintaining that standard seemed almost impossible. We had new guys, revocated riflemen and a storeman. Things outside the branch affected us too...company lines not exactly doing their job...and our boss being pressured to perform or else....(from what I saw)

I would say I won't focus on the result. This is not a statement to deflect any perceived defeat from not making the mark, but a proud string of words to state that I have found something Redcon1 cannot provide....and that's brothers in the army. Band of Brothers lol

We worked our asses off in the office, and had to resort to sleeping on dockets like bleeding beggars!!! It was great fun :D People might seem disinterested in work, and others might say my branch are slackers. Let 'em go fly a kite. Hear their story 1st and you will know.

For example...Hafiidz has proven to be dependable albeit with a 'relack' attitude. John may not seem the most incisive of all R&D clerks, but he is full of spirit and a source of laughter. WQ could be looked upon as an 'arrow evader' but he will show up when the going gets tough.

Once you step down and dig in your heels with them, it is a joy to work together. We all need each other to work together. Together Everybody Achieves More. TEAM!

I guess people are hard to understand and we dont see the interesting side of them when we only talk about work. I won't say I have understood everyone in the office, but at least I can say that I have close contact with them. When tough times come, you see the true face of others. I did and I am greatful for it.

To the previous batch: Thanks for your support but I have to say this too...don't mind yourselves too much about the present the branch. We aren't as good yet but we will work towards it. We may not perform as well but I can say we are close and appreciate the company. Good job to the 11th mono, and the Best is yet to Be.

Not all is too rosy since the finish, and I am not talking about Redcon 2. Our chief clerk's mother is not too well in terms of health, and I ask of you to pray for her recovery. The branch will support her and whatever the outcome is, it is God-willed. You have my greatful thanks.

Well, I have to go off now, and dive back into the complexities of life. With this I wish you a good day, and God bless you.

Regards
Joshua

Hmph...

Harroe Again :)

Can't help but feel negative. My morale is down to the rocks, and I grow weary with each passing second. I have already told myself that I am kind of fed-up of such 'defeatist sentiments', and being downcast continuously won't do much boon to the others around me. Sigh. God please help me.

Maybe this has to do with what is happening in my life right now...but I can't reveal too much here. It would violate the unseen laws of the army and land myself in some trouble haha. To take an objective look at my life, I would just say I am unaccustommed to the surroundings. Thing is, the surroundings are dynamic, and this time I am gravely caught off-guard.

Well, I won't be on mainland turf until Saturday and that doesn't mean I would be going Pulau Ubin or Pulau Hantu. :D I'll try to life myself up and get charged up. I still have a caring family and dependable friends in my life and yes, I am blessed to have all of them around.

In the end, I do not have the willpower to change myself, but it is the Will of God.

Take care and hopefully you can read nicer stuff next time.

Exit Stage Right,
Joshua

End of an Era

Hello...

All good times come to an end. I had a long break briefly punctuated by a few days of work...totalling about 3. Well, it was good and made better with the arrival of my brother from the States. :) I have also been going out a lot and meeting up with good ole' pals. Adventures of daring and audacity to boot. A lot of fun, but reality is back.

Man I can't help feeling unenthusiastic right now as I will be booking in back to camp tonight. :( I am a stay-in clerk and in obeying the new rule, I will not be touching home for quite awhile.

Heck, many people are already doing this and I have little to complain about anyway. But it hits hard after about 5 months of staying-out (ie. going home everyday).

So due to my absence during the rest of the week until Friday, I won't be updating anytime soon. Drats.

Hey, stay well and don't worry about me too much. For those starting school: ENJOY YOURSELF!

Seeya
Joshua